You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
