he shaved USA in his pubs
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
