3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
