I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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