Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
