Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
