Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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