I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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