Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
