Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
