absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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