If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
