What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
God I need to hump something, right now.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
