well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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