How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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