you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
