I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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