so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize