fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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