I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
