I'd wear matching sweaters with you
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
