guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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