My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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