Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
