Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
