Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
