Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
