If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I've blown a few things in my day
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
