Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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