it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
