we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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