Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
