I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
