I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
