he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
We're using joints as your birthday candles
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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