i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize
