It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
