He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
