YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
