last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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