doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
