Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
