This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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