i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
