just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
