Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
