i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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