think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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