i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
