She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
