girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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