Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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