I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
