I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
