dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
