So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
