Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
