And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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