I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Semen is not good for contacts.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
