soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
