hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize