Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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