this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
