Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
