ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
